I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
