Well douche your snatch and let's go!
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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