She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
