i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
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