I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
