there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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