i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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