she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
