The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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