Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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