You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
