I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
