Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
