So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
