I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
