I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
zippers are such a cool invention
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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