I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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