I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
