i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
i think i just lost a toe
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
