I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize