he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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