Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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