It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
