Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
In America we eat man semen.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
