what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
