3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
