awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Enjoy the penises
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
