This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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