her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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