I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
