So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize