I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
