To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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