I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
