I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
