when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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