Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
