remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
