fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
