i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
