So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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