Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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