i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
