worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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