You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
