I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
