Me. At least after what I've been through.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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