So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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