how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
