Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I think your dad took our porno
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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