And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
