He asked to "fluff my boner.."
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize