I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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