Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
