Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
