She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
