We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
