My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
