Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
