Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
